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Working with The Secret in Relationships

How-to Use the Law of Attraction to navigate the laws of relating

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Our connections with one another, although incredibly rich with potential, seem to be one of the most misunderstood areas of life. We are mired in ideas about what makes a successful relationship. To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, the mind becomes hemmed into a thought until a greater thought comes along . . . all governed by the soul. The greater thought is to stop kidding about what relationships are and what they can become, who you are, and what others must be to experience fulfillment. As we demonstrated in The Secret, you are the author of your existence. Create your reality through your relationships. Here are three laws to work with to steer your relationships out of dysfunction and back to love.

The Law of Conservation

If you remember your chemistry from high school, you're already familiar with this law, which states that energy can't be created or destroyed but can change its form. In other words, it's a constant and doesn't come and go. Energy is--period.

When you take this out of the laboratory and into your life, you realize that all life is--period. Existence is made up of energy and matter, and while material forms may appear to come and go, the energy remains, transformed and enlivening some new form of matter. Further, human character traits, a type of current, are conserved through time. They may change appearances and show up in new people or situations, but they always exist. They don't come and go, but they do transform.

Perceptions that something is missing--in yourself or someone else or that one person brings or takes away anything, are merely illusions. When you know that this law governs all energy, you're set free from your limiting viewpoint to see myriad forms of all things.

Nothing's missing, and nothing's gained or lost. Everything remains. Energy is; love is.
The Law of Polarity

If we move on to physics class, we can look at something called wave-particle duality, which is basically just a scientific name for the law of polarity.

You see, light behaves in an interesting way, depending on the kind of experiment you do. Sometimes it displays particle-like behavior, and sometimes it acts like a wave. So is it one or the other? It's both. Physicists refer to "the wave nature of particles" and "the particle nature of waves" when they attempt to describe the nested duality of the nature of light.

The law of polarity states that everything (not just light) can be separated into two wholly opposite parts, and that each of those still contains the potentiality of the other. Particles have the potentiality of waves, up exists with down, white has black, slow is also fast . . . and the same holds true for elation and depression, infatuation and resentment, kindness and cruelty, generosity and stinginess, and so on.

No event is solely beautiful or tragic, just as no person is just good or bad. Labeling things this way may help you talk about them, but it doesn't bring you to the heart of love. Instead, realize that every time you allow yourself into an extreme, you create the equal experience of the opposite. When you acknowledge that one-sidedness is merely a function of perception, not truth, it opens the doorway to seeing the rest of what is. And when you allow yourself to perceive the whole of anything, you're open to the divine perfection of the universe.
Nothing is one-sided; everything contains its opposite. All is love.
The Law of Equilibrium

Sir Isaac Newton revealed that any action has an equal and opposite reaction; forces come in pairs, he said. You can observe a similar phenomenon in chemical reactions. And in life, you've probably noticed that what goes around comes around. Things have an inherent balance.

Although something may appear one-sided in the moment, in time you'll see that there is, indeed, an equal and opposite reaction in that same moment. If someone is criticizing you and attempting to tear you down, for example, you can count on the fact that you'll soon be able to recognize that somewhere, simultaneously, someone else is complimenting you and attempting to build you up.
If you look in the moment, and even over vast spans of time, you see great order. The universe maintains equilibrium and synchronicity.
For more information, read The Heart of Love: How to Go Beyond Fantasy to Find True Relationship Fulfillment by John Demartini. This book will help you understand what really drives human behavior in romance, business, and families; and it will assure you that you can have the kind of relationships you love, whether they"re lasting or brief, intensely intimate, or just for fun. Demartini shares the science of successful and fulfilling communication "the cornerstone of any good relationship" and gives you the tools you need to create powerful partnerships with people who can help you acknowledge, experience, and express more of your true self.

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