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Forgiving Your Abuser

Time For Healing


Joseph Ghabi

Joseph Ghabi

We have to go through some unfortunate experiences sometimes in our life. When you speak with other people you will always find out how easy your experience is in comparison to what they have suffered. The impact that experience has brought on your life cannot be identified in your immediate moment but on the contrary will be understood once you step out of the experience itself.

We always seem to look for reasons to justify our experiences or lessons in life. It is easier not to ask for the reasons and sometimes there may be no identifiable answers. However, there are always two reasons in such cases.

First it is karmic, in the sense that we are running into a pattern of karma involving another person where we keep dragging the lesson from life into another. Unfortunately, under these circumstances until we learn to understand our experience and forgive the people involved in the event that karma will remain until such times. It is up to us to stop it in the end and with that, the process and pattern will then cease to exist.

Secondly, it is just an experience or lesson that we acquire to have in this life in order to learn something in order to maintain balance in our evolution at a soul level.

There are many cases in our day-to-day life that we can discuss here but I will choose only one situation that is really touching many people today in our lives.

Sexual abuse, whether physical or mental abuse are both to the same extent and can bring the victim the same effects, in terms of the feeling or shame that is brought about from the experience itself. But also over time it will likely bring those victims to a state of un-settlement in terms of their sexuality and their trust toward the opposite sex or the same sex where sometimes this may be the case and also in their relationships. I believe many of us can relate to one or two points I have mentioned.

How do we define sexual abuse whether physically or mental abuse?

The way I define it is where sexual abuse being physically is an act to forge someone into performing physical acts against his or her consent and free will.

Mental abuse is an act upon someone, either in order to convince or degrade them by taping in on their mental state by pushing on their self-confidence and self-esteem in an attempt to convince them do things against his or her consent and free will.

There is no one instance better or worse than the other. In both cases scars are created in the victims mind and can take a lifetime to heal unless dealing with the situation after the actual event is handled properly.

Which one of my two definitions is a case being karmic or an experience? Well does it really matter? I guess not, but in either case we need to look at the situation in terms of the victim and the abuser, both in the same time there we can determine just how to get out of the dilemma and heal the scars in the process.

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