Why Celebrate Menarche?
In the United States it has become the norm to stress that no big deal should be made about a girl's first period because it is just too embarrassing. I think that is sad because it could be a special time of acknowledging that a girl is in transition and growing up. A celebration can provide the opportunity for mothers, aunts, sisters, grandmothers and other women in her life to let her know that they all have periods and what their experiences are with menstruation and being women in their culture. It provides an opportunity for making a girl feel special and feel welcomed by her female relatives and friends.
Party Details
We celebrated my daughter's menarche with a gathering of female relatives and other women who had played an important part in raising my daughter. We sat in a circle around the table with a red cloth in the center with three candles, white, red, and black. These colors honor the deep feminine and have traditionally represented the three stages of a woman’s life. The white candle represents the young woman, the maiden, the virgin, innocence, and purity. The red candle represents the maid or matron, the woman of childbearing age, the fertile years of a woman’s life. Red is the color of our menses – passionate, vibrant, alive, empowered, creative, and nurturing. The black candle represents the last stage of a woman’s life, post menses – the elder woman, the wise woman, the experienced woman, the crone. Crone has had a negative connotation over the years, but its original meaning is a woman who is wise and experienced and acts from the wisdom of her heart.
We added symbols for north, west, east and south, in the corners of the cloth. For North symbols of the earth, such as a rock, clay, or seeds to give steadfastness, groundedness, and dependability. Seashells or a small container of water would represent the South to give feelings, caring , and empathy. Matches or flint could be used to represent fire for the West to give passion, energy, and empowerment. We then added some of my mother's female sculptures, and some jewelry that had been my grandmothers. Each guest shared experiences about her first period, the challenges of being a female in America today, and the joys of being a woman. Then she gave a special gift to my daughter symbolizing womenhood. Afterwards, we all shared delicious food. A few years later we created a kit to help families put together a ceremony. It can be found at celebrategirls.com. It has a booklet describing the ceremony, a music CD, invitations, a speaking stone, a ceremonial cloth, and candles.
Each guest shared experiences about her first period, the challenges of being a female in America today, and the joys of being a woman. Then she gave a special gift to my daughter symbolizing womenhood. Afterwards, we all shared delicious food. A few years later we created a kit to help families put together a ceremony. It has a booklet describing the ceremony, a music CD, invitations, a speaking stone, a ceremonial cloth, and candles.
Advice
- I think it is really important to plan the ceremony with your daughter. If she is really resistant to sharing it with others doing something special with her would be very important. Perhaps talking with other mothers of her friends and developing a ceremony that all of the girls in her friendship set each have would help alleviate the embarrassment. My daughter was hesitant, but my niece, after knowing about my daughter's ceremony, was quite outspoken about wanting her own.
Game Ideas
We didn't have games, but I think they would be great, especially for girls who are younger when they get their periods. This site has some great ones: menarchepartiesrus.com
Refreshment Ideas
We just served snacks that my daughter liked, but I have known others who like to serve all red colored food.
Gift Ideas
- Anything that can be passed on from a grandmother
- Moon stone ring, necklace, etc.
- Menstrual cycle calendar
- Lots of ideas on yoni.com
