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Lack of Availability Creates Isolation and Blocks Opportunity
How "available" are you?

By Phylameana lila Desy, About.com

image credit © JupiterImages
Do you tend to use the excuse that you are too busy or not up to the task when someone asks for your help or suggests you break out of your routine and do something different?

I would like to think that I am the kind of gal that goes with the flow. But, to be perfectly honest, by nature, I'm not really all that flexible. Oh, I can easily "go with the flow" whenever an impromptu outing or new situation arises that suits my fancy. Otherwise, my spine tends to stiffen up straight into a stone pose. If I'm asked to do something that feels awkward or takes me too far out of my normal routine, my instinct is to quickly draw a line in the sand. I value my private time and sometimes will go overboard protecting myself from what feels like intrusions of my time.

The problem with drawing lines in the sand, or building privacy walls, is that we become boxed it. What was intended as a cozy place for solace soon transforms into an uncomfortably tight-fitting sandbox of confinement. No one can penetrate our walls. Those who attempt to get us to come out of our isolation will eventually stop trying when they are continually met with our resistance.

Instead of building sandcastles reaching for the skies, we drown ourselves in the moat that surrounds our unavailability fortress. We have "password-protected" ourselves into a state of unhealthy isolation. As a result, we can get pretty lonely when we shield our availability from others.

We hang out by ourselves and wait for the "doors of opportunity" to open for us. Then we wonder why nothing happens.

Has your availability become nonexistent? Or has your comfort zone become too restrictive?

If your answer is yes to either of these two questions it is time to step out of that sandbox you have imprisoned yourself inside. Start looking for new opportunities outside those confining walls. You may be surprised to find an opportune circumstance ripe for the picking on the outskirts of your comfort zone. It can be scary to take those first steps outside of the protective walls that were so carefully built. But, it is important for those of us who tend to isolate ourselves to stretch outside of our self-imposed boundaries to meet new people and learn new ways to do things.

Knocking on a few doors is the easiest way for opportunity to open up for you. Take baby steps at first if you need to, but get yourself out of that box! Stretch! It will make you feel better.

Copyright © 2006 Phylameana lila Désy
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