I believe you may be able to answer a question I have regarding two animals who have recently visited me. I am confused by these events but I believe you may shed light on them with your vast experience. If you do not have time to answer I certainly understand.
One was a cat, whom I called Sundance, and another a dog who I did not have time to learn the name of.
Sundance showed up under my deck on a rainy day just after the summer solstice. He was meowing with hunger and I could see he had been neglected. He appeared to be about 5 mos old, a yellow tabby. I fed him (I often feed stray cats, who usually move on the next day) and he immediately trusted me and stayed on my deck, and I grew to love him deeply in the next few days. I am not normally drawn to cats so much, I have always shared time with large dogs, but this cat was very different. He constantly put his face to mine. He loved me so much I could not turn him away and had decided to keep him. Or rather, he decided to stay with me. But by the weekend, he became very ill, could not breathe well and sat very still rasping for air. He let me feed him Pedialyte through a dropper, but he did not improve. I used Reiki but he did not respond. At last I took him in late at night to an emergency clinic, and when they took him from the car (as I had no carrier) he became frightened and went into heart arrest and respiratory failure. They advised me that it would cost a lot to run tests and keep him on ventilator, and that if he indeed had a certain virus, he would die anyway. I allowed him to be euthanized.
I was in distress for 2 days, crying and unable to get out of bed over that. I have never, ever had a reaction such as that. I worked for a vet all during college and I am familiar with the cycle of death. I also had to put my dog Doc, (the love of my life for 14 years) down as he was so in pain, and so I know sometimes death is the best thing. Anyway, I could not understand what I had done wrong concerning Sundance and why the Reiki did not help. I look back and wish I had just allowed him to die more peacefully with me, but I thought I was getting him help.
A week later, a black lab dog approached me from across the subdivision where I live. He came straight for me, but did not look at me. I could see he was limping. I called as he approached and he saw me and his face softened. I thought perhaps he had a thorn in his foot, but when I looked, his entire underbelly was red with fresh blood and his leg was raw as well (later learned he had been hit and drug by a car).
He was panting so hard and it was so hot, I got him water and I kissed his head, and he looked at me with such gratitude. I felt he came to me for help. I did Reiki, but he did not seem to want it.
I called my neighbor, who agreed to assist me in taking him to the local shelter, because all the vets were already closed for the day. The Black allowed us to lift him into the car without a whimper, but he yowled as we got close to the shelter (about 8 miles away). Anyway, they gave him meds for the pain and agreed to watch him overnight, but by the morning he had been put down, as the vet said his injuries were too great.
I became a Reiki Master practitioner specifically to help my doc Doc, who strangely, never seemed to like it much. He would always look at me as if to say "Why are you doing that?" It did not seems to help his pain. But, I felt perhaps even if it did not help Doc, it would help others and I can't seem to understand why I was unable to help these two poor animals. In Sundance's case, I really feel I made a mistake taking him in.
While I am not in distress over these events, they puzzle me and I feel there is more to it that I can see. I did not mean to write so much, apologies for so much of your time. But, I can see you are a wise and practiced medicine woman, and I am compelled to ask your advice on this. I have studied with a native medicine man, but in this case, I am led to ask You this question.
I could offer you tobacco if you were closer, but instead I shall spread some in the forest for you if that is alright. I shall include you in my prayers as well.
With much gratitude,