A Generous Way Of Healing Yourself

I'm not one of those shop-til-you-drop sort of gals. Many women will consider me a traitor to my gender to admit this, but shopping malls are the last place I want to be EVER! (OOPS, never say never...I do enjoy shopping for new shoes). When the holidays approach each year I tend to cringe just thinking about making gift lists, attending social events, baking goodies, etc. I especially despise obligatory gift buying for special occasions such as birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, etc. This is not because I am not a generous person, I enjoy sharing with others. But, I just abhor being squeezed into a set time-frame to produce the perfect gift for any particular occasion. This is perhaps because I can be picky about giving someone just anything. In the past I have spent too many hours looking for that elusive perfect gift or greeting card. And whenever I didn't find it I would become disappointed, not to mention exhausted. Other times I have been disheartened to discover that the perfect gift I thought I had found for someone WASN'T. You can tell when a gift bombs by the look or reaction of the gift recipient no matter how hard he or she attempts to convey gratitude. Sometimes you just can't get it right no matter what you do. These situations can be ackward and uncomfortable for both giver and receiver.

Sometimes I will gift family members and friends on their birthdays and Christmas, but it is not a rule of thumb. I did feel kind of funny once when my mother telephoned to thank me for a subscription to the TV Guide her and dad were receiving. They own a grocery store and one of their venders had gift-subscribed them as a thank you for their business, but the gift card hadn't been obvious. It was Christmas time and I hadn't sent them anything so she assumed it was from me. I felt guilty about not getting them anything for Christmas that year for about an hour, but then I got over it. My parents know that I don't routinely do obligatory gifting. If I see something that I think they would like I'll pick it up and send it on their way or save it to give to them on my next visit. Actually, I don't gift others as often as I would like to, certainly not as often as I think about doing it. I could do better. My only excuse is that I don't do shopping... sigh. However, I never miss acknowledging my own children's birthdays, with a gift. That would be unthinkable for a mom. Besides, finding the perfect gift for my grown kids is not difficult. Can you spell M O N E Y ? Cash is the perfect gift for newly out of the nest kidsters!

The stress involved in obligatory gift-giving can be horrific. Sometimes you just can't avoid it. But if you can, try adopting unbirthday-gifting. Making altruistic gestures can make the world of difference in your life!

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