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Who Are the Drama Queens in Your Life and How Do You React to Their Acts?

Are You Buying in or Moving by?

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Young woman kneeling on car bonnet brandishing scissors
Luc Beziat

Do you have people in your life that like to create dramas? Do they who like to stir up energy and conflict, adding fuel to the fire and then reveling in it? Do they fit the term “Drama Queen”?

It can be a challenge to be around people who are addicted to drama.

When you've been working diligently to lessen drama in your life by creating peacefulness and calm, drama can be very noticeable. It becomes uncomfortable and it stands out to get your attention. You begin to notice the woman in line at the coffee shop who doesn’t get the right coffee and proceeds to get so loud that the entire shop notices, or the man at the convenience store who is rude and obnoxious to the clerk and proceeds to drag the other customers into the attack, or the mother-in-law that blows everything out of proportion so that she has some adventure in her life, even if the entire family is miserable. The list goes on and on.

If you are undertaking a healing journey to achieve more balance and peace within your life, drama comes up and tests you. The test is whether you chose to 'Buy into it' or 'Move right by it.' It is a choice, just like choosing happiness. You can make any choice on your path. If drama feels uncomfortable to you and you've decided it's not for you, then move right on by it, but it's easy to get sucked into the old pattern- especially if it is coming from family members. The test is to see whether or not you choose to see it for what it is: buying in or moving by?

Dramatic Family Patterns

Family patterns have more emotional charge attached to them. You grew up with this family. You lived with them day in and day out. You know them better than they know themselves. However, you also slip right into the family role playing dynamic when you are with them.

Unconscious Dramatics

Buying into the drama can happen so subvertly that you don’t even notice that you did it. Your unconscious habit slid into place and it just happened, without you realizing it. You may not even notice until well after the fact. Regardless of how long it takes to discover, you got caught. You bought into it! Now what?

Recognizing Drama Addiction

Awareness is the first step. Becoming conscious to your surroundings and relationship dynamics is the next step. You need to pay attention. Become an observer within your family. Watch how they relate to one another and to you, without getting too involved in the outcome. You are simply there to be a witness, not to participate. Think of it as gathering research or an investigation. You are collecting data that will help you to analyze upcoming interactions you may be involved in. You need to begin to recognize when drama addiction is happening.

Thrill Seeking

The addiction to drama is not much different than an addiction to gambling. When drama is happening in a relationship dynamic, excitement happens, your body produces adrenaline and there is a rush of energy. People addicted to drama are seeking that rush of adrenaline, or the thrill that the rush of energy brings them. For people that lead a very uninteresting or monotonous life, that rush of adrenaline helps them feel alive. It’s like a mother living her life through her children because her life has become mundane and flooded with boredom. Creating drama means stirring up the energy. Think of it as a thrill seeker trapped in a mundane life. Stirring up drama by creating family conflicts and blowing things out of proportion may be the only expression the thrill seeker has left.

Choosing Peace Over Conflict

Even if this is the case, it is still up to you to choose whether to play the game and ‘buy in’ or choose to see it for what it is and subsequently ‘moving by.’ It is a choice.

When you are looking to create peace and calm within your life, drama begins to take a back seat. The adrenaline is no longer as important. Meditation and the energy high that comes from knowing you are connected and one with the flow of the universe is more than enough to know that you are alive.

What path do you choose, buying in or moving by?
 
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