Terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in NY and the Pentagon in Washington D.C.
Today's tragic event awakened me to a heightened reality of our connections to one another. I could not deny that my heart was grieving for the hurts of others.
Sept. 11. 2001 is going to be one of those extraordinary days in history that everyone will always remember where they were and what they were doing, not unlike the attack on Pearl Harbor or the assassination of President J.F. Kennedy. My day may be non-eventful compared to the many that we will be hearing about in the days to come, but this is my story.
This morning at approximately 9:45 AM (central time) I received a phone call from my husband. I could hear him choking back tears as he urged me to go turn the television on. It is not my habit to turn on the television during the daytime except for an hour during my lunch break. My mornings are normally a time of solitude for me. I seldom turn my computer on before 11 AM.
New York City is my husband's hometown and although we live in Iowa, his love of the city has never left him. His mother worked for many years in the United Nations building as a waitress. Today they evacuated that building as well as many other government offices for security reasons. Reality was sinking in for both of us how easily our lives can be shaken. I don't think our feelings were all that different from what most of the nation was experiencing.
I was in a bit of a dark mood Monday night that I could not shake. Unable to sleep I was sobbing into my pillow around 3 AM, a feeling of unhappiness was flooding over me. I could not put my finger on why I was unhappy. Now I wonder if I didn't somehow energetically tap into knowing that something horrible was going to happen. I'll never know for sure.
I believe that there are intricate invisible lines of energy that connect us to one another. Yet, because I work at home and have limited contact with others throughout a normal day it is very easy for me to feel isolated and alone. Today's tragic event awakened me to a heightened reality of our spiritual connections to one another. I could not deny that my heart was grieving for the hurts of others.
I had a new client scheduled to arrive for a healing session at 10:30 AM. My first impulse was to telephone him and reschedule his appointment for another day. I was in no mood to spend time with anyone. I knew I could not push aside the raw flutters of agony that were churning my insides. I wanted time to retreat and feel my personal pain at this catastrophe. Besides, I felt I would be doing a disservice to a client by forcing myself into a healer role when all I wanted to do was cry in silence. I realize that healers must recognize the times when they need to attend to their personal issues first. When we are hurting we are in no condition to help facilitate healing in others.
When I was unable to reach him at his home and he arrived as scheduled I reluctantly answered the door. I invited him in but wasted no time explaining to him that I could not work with him as my psyche was too disturbed. He offered immediately to leave, but then a calmness washed over me and I felt compelled to ask him to stay for awhile. We did not do typical healing work but we did get a chance to chat some to get comfortable with each other. He was able to share with me his reasons for seeking out a healer. The basis of our client/healer relationship had begun. He left an hour later agreeing to return next week for a session. I choose to trust the universe that this was the better plan anyway.
Afterwards I was able to give in more fully to my own emotions and try to sort those out. For about an hour I viewed the films depicting the aircraft crashing into the tower. Numbly, I listened to the media reporting the shocking news. Then I took to my bed and took a nap. I awoke less tired physically, but no less emotionally weary of the day's occurrences.
Later on my husband and I ate our supper together and tried to put some normalcy back into our existence.
Prayer Held in the Healing ChatroomWhitehorse Woman and Cassandra lead an impromptu prayer circle in the healing chatroom(see transcript). I was in attendance although my browser was blocking me from participating with any communications. I decided the Universe was assisting my need for isolation by not allowing me to merge with others when my energy was so low. Being able to join in without jumping in enabled me to soak up the outpouring of prayers given by our community members. It was profoundly powerful and healing for me. I am so very grateful.
If there is one message I wish to convey to each person reading this, it is to take time to grieve. Allow yourself to be in touch with your emotional self. Whatever you're feeling, let it flow.... don't block it. Please don't rush out to help others until you have the physical stamina and inner strength to do so. Everything will be okay. Time is a healer. I believe the goodness within all people will prevail over the evil doings of a few.
My prayers go out to the families that were directly affected by this hateful terrorist action that has taken place this day. Their lives will never be the same because of the losses and injuries. My healing hand is extended outward, my heart cries out for them, my soul is forever connected to them.
Reader responses regarding this article