Forgiving Your Abuser

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For the victims in both types of the abuse I explained, regardless if you go for a court settlement in order to punish the abuser and have financial compensation it won't solve anything unless you deal with and heal the experience internally.

What do I mean by that? Well it is very simple. Until you come to terms with the experience and accept it and learn to forgive the abuser for what they did to you, you will NOT ever be able release yourself from the experience. That is in no way a means of trying to justify what they did to you in the first place, rather, in order to put your own life back on track to live a normal and productive life again. You must learn to let go and heal the scars of that experience and most importantly, you must NOT blame yourself either because our mind can create a different scenario where we will start to truly believe that it was our fault in the process. We need to understand one thing that is really essential, whatever happened in our past happened, and we are here today in our present moment. Whatever we do, we cannot go back and fix the problem and erase what happened in our past. However, we can accept it and allow the healing process to take place, bring forgiveness and give blessing to both yourself, the person or other people involved in the situation. If we don't do that we are the ones who are left suffering in the end and we don't deserve that, do we? So stop feeling the anger, hate or frustration that we have been carrying all our lives since then. What have we to gain from that? Nothing really! Think about it and try to do something about it. Bring love into your being. The energy of love is the most powerful and strongest energy that exists and that can move mountains! So, it can also move experiences from both our conscious and sub conscious minds.

Do not allow your abuser to win by accepting the defeat? That's the message you are creating but revenge is not the answer and by closing yourself to other people, that is not the answer either. Do not allow your past to hold you back from embracing all of what your future has to offer. Think of your experience and what it brought to you in terms of pain, anger, and frustration. Transform that energy into knowledge understanding and wisdom in what you've experienced and use it toward helping other people who have or are suffering similar experiences to your own.

Be honest about it to yourself. You deserve to suffer for the rest of your life! Unfortunately many victims like the attention that comes from being victim, but in the end you are the only one who will suffer the most from this. Give yourself a break and just accept, forgive and let go. It is high time to stop creating our future karma in situations we could have solved in the first place in this lifetime. And also, forsake of not becoming the abuser of someone else in our future.

About the abuser... sometimes it may have been the case where they were victims when they were young. This is all very well and all points discussed in this article apply to you too. Otherwise, whatever event happened should never have happened in the first place if you, as the abuser had allowed your own healing process to take effect. It is not an excuse to say that an abuser was abused in his or her past and it does not take away the fact that they have hurt someone else because of their own hurt and anger.

In some cases, the abuser is fearful of his or her own situation and picks up on his or her victims weaker side and uses it in order to gain power over the victim, or on the other hand to satisfy his or her ego. That is an attempt to run away and hide from the fear or weakness inflicted upon themselves as a result of their own experiences, of which they do not know how to or accept to deal with. We see these situations in the abuser, mostly in cases being mental abuse situations.

In the end, take a moment to evaluate your life, your situation and your experience which has brought you scars and ask yourself the question. Why am I punishing myself? Do I deserve that in my life all the suffering I am still going through? I don't think so.

You'll be the judge!

Excerpt from The Free Spirit Centre Web site