Soul Agreements

Question: Siblings Troubled By Mother's Mental Health

Dear Christopher,

I would be very grateful for your advice. My siblings and I have been having ongoing problems with our mother, and things have been getting progressively worse these past few years.

It is clear that our mom is suffering from some sort of mental health disorder, but she is refusing to accept that anything is wrong. She lives alone and is a compulsive hoarder. We also believe that she is affected by manic depression. None of us are allowed into her home.

When she was hospitalised for a hysterectomy some years ago, we took that opportunity (on our GPs advice) to clear the house out and make the place habitable. The result was enthusiastic acceptance initially, followed by tears and tantrums and abusive phonecalls for months afterwards. Several years later, she has managed to accumulate twice as much "stuff" as she had before. We have been told by two local police officers who found out quite by accident about her living conditions, that we must take some sort of action as the house is a death-trap. (She's had several falls already, due to the fact that there is very little room to move as a result of everything that has been accumulated).

We have asked our local GP for help or intervention of some sort, but according to him, there is nothing we can do unless she acknowledges the problem herself. We have contacted mental health associations in Ireland but have been told that the GP is the first point of contact. Nothing can be done without his recommendation.

Christopher, we are all at the end of our tether. My brother lives closest to my mother and he is the one who is taking the brunt of all of this. I am very worried about him, as he's a young guy who should be enjoying life, but instead has the weight of the world on his shoulders, and unsurprisingly suffers from depression himself. Yesterday, I received 6 messages in a row on my homephone - various ramblings from my mom who blames everybody: her family, ex husband (my father), her sister, etc. for the way her life has turned out. I knew things were becoming seriously out of hand when she sent the police to my door at 1 am recently, claiming that something awful must have happened to me as we hadn't spoken in a week. (I had spoken to her the day before).

At times, mom is perfectly lucid and we have good conversations. At other times, she switches into a vindictive, nasty mode and then has no recollection of those abusive conversations later. At other times, she wallows in a victim mentality and talks about wishing she was dead. (I received a message on my 30th birthday where she told me that all she wanted to do was throw herself into the sea). I love my mother but I (like my sister and brother) can no longer cope with things as they currently are. We have two options: the easier option is to leave things as they are for now and continue asking the angels to watch over her; the second option is to have her taken out of the house & treated by professionals, against her will.

The latter option leaves all of us cold: being taken out of the house will probably kill her. If she hasn't lost it already, she will almost certainly lose her mind if she's forcibly removed. Each of us is going to have to live with the guilt of our actions (or possibly inaction) for the rest of our lives. Christopher, I have great faith in the angels & elementals. I KNOW they are supporting us, but I am unsure of what their advice is.

If you can help, I would be eternally grateful.

In love & light,
Ellen H.

Ask An Angel: Read Christopher Dilt's response to this inquiry