His behavior is a perfect illustration of mirroring. As trivial as it seemed to me that he was troubled by losing his glove he was certainly caught up in it.
It didn't sink in at first, but by the next day, I realized he has acting as my teacher, giving me yet another lesson. Unknowingly to him, whenever he gives into one of his self-critical tantrums he is showing me (rather, mirroring for me) my own self-critical patterns. He wasn't really upset about the glove missing (well, maybe a little bit), but I know him better than this. He was more angry with himself for having lost it. What is that all about? I feel it is really about ego.
If I had lost one of my gloves he would have shrugged it off, possibly saying something like "Don't worry, that could happen to anyone." But, since he was the person who had lost his glove he was holding himself to a higher expectation than he holds for others. And when it happened he berates himself for his blunder. If that is not the ego acting out, I don't know what is.
Our Mirrors Are Teachers!
What was my husband's self-critical behavior teaching me about myself? It was showing me that I too sometimes get caught up in holding myself to a higher bar than I hold for others. And, although I know losing a glove would not put me in a tizzy, I have my own ridiculous moments. Having high expectations of myself is not a bad thing... it is motivational. But, whenever I fall short and miss the mark I do have a tendency to be unforgiving of my shortcomings and will sometimes demoralize myself. Not good.
This is something that needs my attention. I don't give myself enough kudos for my accomplishments. Plus, I need to be more accepting of my journey and stop being self-critical.
Why Are You with the One You're With?
Your partner is your teacher, Silly! Ask yourself what the people in your life (partners, parents, siblings, offsprings, co-workers, etc.) are mirroring for you? Forming partnerships probably has more to do with what lessons you are willing to face than anything else.
- What is Mirroring?
- What Have Your Mirrors Taught You? - Tell Your Story
- More About the Concept of Mirroring: Spiritual Relationships: Partnering through Change
NOTE: Oh, and by the way, my hubby's glove was found in the Lost in Found at the school at the end of the day.
glove photo © Phylameana lila Desy
~ Affirmation of the Day ~
Focus Friday - This post is part of a once-weekly blog feature focusing on a singular healing topic. If you would like to get notifications delivered to your inbox each Friday alerting you to the Focus Friday topic please subscribe to my newsletter. In addition to the Friday delivery subscribers also receive my standard newsletter sent on Tuesday mornings. The Tuesday edition highlights new articles, newest blog posts, and includes links to a variety of healing topics.