Free Advice from Animal Reiki Shaman, Rose De Dan
I feel so bad for Bootsie, it was one of Mom's last wishes that someone take care of her and she has really taken to me and is very lovable when Raven is not around. I am so afraid that Raven will hurt her with her claws and I am thinking to have Raven declawed so she will not be aggressive towards Bootsie. I have had Bootsie at my home for 1 week now, how can I get them to become friends or to at least get along with each other? I am terrified that Bootsie will have to spend the rest of her life in one room. It makes me want to cry for her and my Mom, she loved her so much. I would be so grateful if you could help me with this situation. 
Reader Question: I have a cat named Raven, she was a stray that found her way into my basement about 1 year ago. I recently took my mother's female cat named Bootsie who was orphaned after Mom passed away on 11/14/11. She is about 14 or 15 and just a wonderful loving girl. My problem is Raven, she still has claws and Bootsie was declawed years ago. Bootsie will not come out of my bedroom and mostly hides under the bed until I call her out to eat. Raven goes into the bedroom to taunt her (Raven is much younger) and Bootsie will hiss and growl at her to try to keep her away.
Response from Rose: Dear Dorothy, my condolences to you and Bootsie on the passing of your mother. You have lost a parent, while Bootsie has lost her human companion and the only home she knew. And well-established single cat Raven is now being asked to share her home with another. Everyone involved is in transition, and is therefore experiencing major physical and emotional stress.
However, it is a situation I have had success with in my practice, so I believe I can offer you some insights to make the transition process easier.
First, let me shed some light on what is happening from the perspective of the cats.
Cats are creatures of habit. Bootsie has lost not only her beloved human companion, but also her territory and her daily routine. Change on a major scale, and not something that an elderly cat will adjust to quickly.
Cats are also territorial beings; place matters, a lot. In the last year your house has become Raven's--her scent is everywhere--and from Bootsie's perspective that constitutes ownership. Bootsie is hyper-aware that she is in a new environment that is already occupied, and that makes her feel unsafe.
An only cat, Bootsie is now being asked to make friends with Raven, feline owner of the new territory.
As a former stray Raven has had to compete with other cats for limited resources; Raven knows what it is to go without and is therefore going to be protective of what she now has. In her mind this is her warm, cozy house, her person, and her food.
A further complication is that elderly Bootsie knows that she does not have the reflexes of her younger self, so she is automatically going to be on the defensive. The fact that she is declawed compounds the situation.
Most people are not aware that declawing a cat is actually a mutilation since vets that willingly perform the surgery usually don't tell them what it entails. In order to prevent the claws from simply growing back the vet has to amputate the joint the claw is attached to. For comparison, the same procedure for a human would involve having the first digit of every finger and/or toe cut off so that their nails would not grow back.
Declawed cats tend to be more aggressive since they know they can no longer rely on claws for defense or escape by climbing. Therefore, they are more liable to use their mouth to inflict serious bite wounds. Declawing Raven in hopes of equalizing the playing field is likely to have the opposite effect intended. The physical and emotional damage caused by declawing is much more likely to cause Raven to become more aggressive rather than less.
All is not lost, however. Cats follow certain steps in establishing diplomatic relations that you can use to assist you in creating a new family unit.
My first suggestion is to separate both cats by closing a connecting door, this way they can still hear and smell each other by sniffing under it, giving them an opportunity to get to know one another more slowly.
Now that they are both feeling safer, there are some energetic approaches that you can use to assist them (and yourself) in feeling more relaxed and less stressed. Change is always easier when you have support!
Bach Flower Essences has a calming product called Rescue Remedy that can easily be added to the drinking water of both cats (and yours).
Another product that can be quite helpful is Feliway, which contains synthetic pheromones (scent markers) that tell a cat that a place is safe and secure, thereby reducing stress. You will probably need two plug-ins--one for each room on the other side of the door that is separating both cats.
You might also consider adding Reiki to the mix since it is a modality ideally suited for re-establishing mental, emotional and physical balance for animals and people. If you are not a practitioner there are many Reiki and animal communication professionals that can assist either with a home visit or distance session.
I also usually suggest in situations like yours that my clients consider using a combination of crystal essence mists for animals and people from Vi Miere. Two that might be helpful for everyone are Family and Transition, since whatever you are feeling is communicated to the cats and that has a decided impact on how they respond.
Now that you have your energetic support system in place it is time to implement the introduction process. The ASPCA has an article written by a pet behaviorist entitled Introducing Your Cat to a New Cat that I recommend for step-by-step guidance.
Cats are usually not quick to embrace change in general, and it can take up to a year for them to develop a relationship with a new cat, so please be patient.
If you take the time to be gentle with yourself and the cats, honoring their needs and your own, the result will be a much smoother transition into the loving new family that you are hoping to create.
Rose De Dan,
Animal Reiki Shaman
Disclaimer: Rose De Dan shares insights derived from spirit and through animal communication. Any advice she offers is not meant as a substitute for veterinary care.
Each week, we invite a different intuitive to answer a question from a reader. If you'd like to submit a question for Rose please email her directly.
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I’ve had my cat since she was 4 weeks old and she’s always been an indoor cat. Unfortunately, she uses her claws on the carpet. Throughout the years I’ve tried nearly every product on the market, from cat structures and toys and alternate scratchers and sprays, etc.) to stop her from doing this and nothing has worked.
Since then she has recovered and now can claw to her little hearts content without any damage. She’s happy and I’m happy. Now I can look forward to maybe a new carpet someday. I think declawing may be a option and certainly a better option than discarding a pet at overcrowded animal shelters.
In one section she dug a huge whole through the carpet and padding down to the wooden frame on the floor. There are other sections throughout the house damaged too. I can’t close inside doors because she claws to get through and yes, as mentioned above, I’ve tried nearly everything. At least she never asks to go outside! Anyways, about 2 years ago I had her declawed on the front only. It was the laser type of declawing and she got pain medicine for a few days so I know it hurt her
Thanks for listening.
phantompoodle: What will your solution be when she starts peeing all over your carpet??!!! Cats that are declawed inevitably develop arthritis in the traumatized toes….just like anyone else would in a severely injured joint…..and using a litterbox will become painful. Did you know that a high percentage of the cats in overcrowded shelters are discarded cats who’ve been declawed and who are peeing outside the litterbox or displaying other behavioral problams related to declawing. I get the sense that you didn’t do all of your homework, both, regarding the scratching problem nor the declawing “solution”.
Sorry, yellowrose that your sense is off. I’ve worked in the animal care field for 20 years – 10 as a groomer and 10 as a vet tech. In fact, the last vet that I worked for was instrumental in California for starting the whole ban on declawing cats. It’s not banned throughout the state, but it is in her city and several others. So, yes, I’ve done my homework and I asked her advice too. My kitty was 6 years old when she was declawed and now she’s eight and she’s happy.