Free Advice from Animal Reiki Shaman, Rose De Dan
Melody asks: My mother-in-law has a 5 yr old pit bull, Zoey, who growls when my 19 month old tries to love on her (she also has growled at my 10 yr old). This concerns me A LOT!! I have expressed my concerns to both my mother-in-law and my husband who say "oh, she has never bitten anyone before" or "that's just her talking." They see no reason for concern. I can see my husband and me heading for divorce over this situation. I have asked that Zoey be left home when grandma comes to visit, which didn't make much of an impact. Please help, I feel like I'm the only one concerned here!!
Response from Rose: Dear Melody, this is a tough one to try to resolve since there is discord amongst all the human players in this drama.
One element stands out clearly, and that is Zoey's message. Her growling at your children is intended to let them know that she does not like what they are doing, and also indicates that she considers them below her in the family pack hierarchy. And the reason for this is not because of her breed, but because the human pack members have not set rules and boundaries.
You are correct to be concerned. Growling is a warning, and one that should not be ignored as it can escalate into something more severe if Zoey does not feel that she is receiving the proper respect from those she views as lower in status (and that could include your mother-in-law or any of the rest of your family).
Right now Zoey is in charge because the rest of the family pack are showing disrespect to each other by not being united in understanding and cooperation. The greater the discord amongst all of you, the more Zoey's need to have someone in charge will increase. Dogs are pack animals and they NEED to have calm, assertive leaders. If the humans don't supply the leadership then Zoey will, and your children and other family members may be disciplined in the fashion that dogs apply--they may get bitten, and bitten badly.
Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer, has written several books and made quite a few videos that might help. In A Member of the Family: Cesar Millan's Guide to a Lifetime of Fulfillment with Your Dog ( compare prices ) there is a special section containing tips from his children on what they have learned from their father. Nine year-old Calvin said, "My dad taught me that a dog's growling is a very, very bad sign. That's, like, the top thing dogs should not do around kids." There is also a chapter, "Rules of the House," which discusses how to create a pack in a divided family.
For Zoey's behavior to change and that of your children (they also need to learn how to approach and respect Zoey), clearly you need to gain the cooperation of your husband and your mother-in-law. Zoey is not a bad dog, but one that needs guidance. Pit bulls are a powerfully built breed, and many people don't understand that they need lots of exercise, clear boundaries, and training.
It is my impression that your family loves Zoey. Perhaps you might all agree that everyone wants to support Zoey's needs as a dog. That means understanding how dogs think and feel, rather than imposing what we think and feel on them.
Ask your family to shift their perceptions and see the situation through Zoey's eyes and perhaps gain more insights through Cesar's. It is my hope that everyone can put aside their differences and discover a better way of relating to each other. Together you can create a loving family that meets everyone's needs--human and canine.
Rose De Dan,
Animal Reiki Shaman
Disclaimer: Rose De Dan shares insights derived from spirit and through animal communication. Any advice she offers is not meant as a substitute for veterinary care.
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Please get help for the humans…the children are at stake of being bitten or even worse killed…all because these ‘numb skulls’ adore this dog (’the pet”)…I have known many a couple who got divorced not because of a ‘pet issue’ …because the pet ‘killed’ their daughter or son. If these so called adults do not respect the fact that it took 9 months to make these children and call themselves a family…then their mental state needs to be check.
A human’s safety is worth more than a dog’s? When something happens what are the ADULTS going to say…Oh, we had not idea this would happen she/he was such a ‘LOVING’ pet. The pet needs to be trained and until it is trained to be around innocent humans…then it should not be forsaken for pure ignorance of these ‘unknowing’ adults. I honestly telling you that I have seen in the emergency room countless toddlers maimed faces and torn out parts of their body permanently…unfortunately a lot of them did not survive.
When will people learn that you must have caution when bringing a ‘PET’ into the family realm that possible has been spoiled and needs to be ‘RETRAINED’ to be part of a family structure.
Use your common sense ADULTS. Some people will actually blame a toddler (barely walking) fault for the pets lunging at the them and taking a dangerous bite out of them. Are children less important than this dog? Seems like it …all the warning signs are there.
No matter what the breeds all dogs need training will ALL family members. It takes patience and time…it is worth it to be going to a park instead of a funeral.
Yes if the dog is growling with warning or worse than all humans need to ensure the safety of the children. But I wanted to point out that some dogs growl when talking…so when evaluating if a dog is a threat, is dominate or just using his voice review all the body signals and their personality. Is the growl asking the child to stop what they are doing? Is it part of his talking or are they being threating, aggressive or dominate.
Also for some dogs if the growl is to let the human know that they want some space and if you take that away then the dog may go from being ok to biting…having a signal may not be all bad…I think Rose’s suggestions are spot on and the humans just need to keep the kids safe until they know the dog has manners and respect for the humans and the humans need respect for the dog.
I respectfully submit the following: A 5 year old child was mauled to death by a pit bull terrier just last week in Australia. The dog apparently escaped from the next door neighbours yard, chased the kids playing in the yard next door inside and raced inside after them and mauled two or three people, killing a five year old on the spot in front of her mother, family and friends. Many other dog breeds are also known to be dangerous but I seem to hear about so many very serious, often fatal dog attacks involving pit bull terriers. I’m sorry, but i would put a child’s safety before keeping a dog whose breed is generally aggressive (pit bull terriers were originally bred for fighting) Need I say more?
When you adopt an animal into your life you are taking responsibility for their needs the same as you do when you adopt or have a child. If their needs are met, individuals of either species will grow up to be well balanced individuals.
Many people adopt an animal companion without understanding the needs of that particular species or breed. It is one reason why there are so many animals languishing in shelters or homeless on the streets.
The problem is not the breed or the species, the problem is the lack of knowledge and understanding. Pit bulls have become a major issue in this country not because the breed is dangerous, but because of the people who exploit them (dog fighting/drug dealing) and people who don’t train them correctly or at all. That lack of training can result in major problems no matter what the breed. Statistically speaking, more people are bitten by small dogs than by larger breeds, but the larger breeds get more attention because they are so much more powerful physically.
Once again I would like to use Cesar Millan as an example. A bit bull named Daddy became part of his household at four months old because the person who had adopted him could not control him. Under Cesar Millan’s guidance Daddy went on to become one of the most relaxed and willing dogs you will ever see. He was not only an important member of Cesar’s family, he also lent his efforts to many episodes assisting in rehabilitating other dogs and helping train the families.
A picture is worth a 1000 words, so here is a video tribute to Daddy where you can see how wonderful and helpful he is. Any dog can have achieve that same balance with a person/family that is committed to taking the right steps.