Random Acts of Rudeness
Monday October 30, 2006
RN and Naturopath, Dr. Linda Mundorff, asks us to look at the flip side of "Random Acts of Kindess" in her article Random Acts of Rudeness. She says "Random acts of rudeness are thoughtless behaviors inflicted upon someone we may not know." This happens when we take our frustrations out on others who just happen to be there when we are feeling tired, irritable, or whatever. We are all guilty of having done this at one time or another. But we have a choice for our behaviors to be kind or unkind when we communicate with people throughout the day. When we are rude to others we are making a conscious choice to be rude.Can you remember a time when you were rude when you could have been kinder or at the very least neutral (keeping your mouth shut)? Unfortunately, I can. I had spent the day at the bedside of my husband. He was in recovery from his mitral valve repair. After the fourth or fifth day of spending the day at the hospital I was growing very weary. In the evening after family visiting hours were over I returned to the motel where I was staying. I took the elevator up to the third floor where my room was only to discover that the keycard wouldn't work. I was forced to drag my tired body downstairs and go to the main desk to report the problem. I was informed that it was policy to clear the key cards every few days. I flipped out and yelled at the clerk. "Why didn't someone bother to inform me of this policy when I checked into this place.... (continued rant)." I was embarrassed that I lost control like that and I'm feeling embarrassed today just admitting that I did this. But this is an example of my less than nice behavior. My mom "kindly" told me that it was understandable why I lost it that night, but still, that poor clerk.
Have you lost your cool and verbally attacked someone who didn't deserve your rude tongue lashing? Affirmation of the Day
I have a friend who works a second jobs at a motel checking in people. We don’t live close so sometimes I call her to chat and she has to deal with the guests. I can hear the conversation. It’s unbelievable how rude some people are asking for things. Working with the public is THE hardest job.
You’re right gr8face, people with service jobs who deal with the public have to routinely deal with rudeness. I think everyone needs to work this type of job (clerk, waiter, etc.) at least once in their lifetime to be on the receiving end of rudeness. It would be a good lesson in learning to be kinder.
I use to wait tables, some people can be down right nasty when they are hungry. I also can recall some women not bothering to look up at me from the menus when they ordered their meals. I would not feel acknowleged as a person when that happened. Surprisingly, I discovered, in general, men are worse tippers than women.
Yes, we all loose it and then are sorry. Reading Byron Kattie’s book, “Loving What IS”, makes you begin to learn to think differenty and bring more joy into YOUR life!
Yes, I have lost it, too. I ranted and raved at the receptionist of a geriatric care center. Admittedly, she really didn’t know what she was doing, or who to refer me too, but that didn’t mean it was o.k. for me to unload on her. I felt so ashamed of myself that I called her right abck and apologized. She greatly appreciated the apology. I have been on the other end, and know that it is not alwyas easy to deal with the public.
Sometimes when we lose control, it’s good for our humility because we then realize we really haven’t arrived yet.
Namaste
Hey Jean, not only have I not arrived, but I think I’m still standing in line to get a ticket for my ride to the destination.
Yes, I remember getting mad at this poor guy walking his dog and in the process was taught a lesson!. I was just about to reverse out of my driveway when his dog decided to make my driveway his ‘portable loo’. To make matters worse he was not even carrying a ‘poo bag’ with him. I was incenses and gave him an earful about being an irresponsible dog owner. He muttered that he was going to come back and pick it up, but did he? Yes 5 minutes later he did come back with some old newsapapers and in the meantime I was getting late for work. Anyway, after everything had been sorted out, I was on my way to work when I got hit from behind at the lights while waiting for it to turn green by this hug semi who had been tailgaiting me all the way to work.
Unfortunately, I was too shocked to get his registration and he has not been seen since.It cost me $1000, mind you. Since this episode, I have learnt my lesson. My guides have since told me that I needed to tone down my attitude and be more understanding and kind and not to jump right in before testing the waters! Lesson learnt!
Yes, there have been many occasions i have been rude to my family, unknown people, but when i realise i was wrong, i feel terribily guilty, and sometimes apologise to my family.But, i realise now that i unconsciously speak about my husband ( i think i am joking) but when i realise that was rude or i have him down,God ,i feel so guilty and do have a problem to apologise, then i realise its my body language expressing anger.
Yes, i have been rude many a times and later, when i realise i regret, i tend to this about my husband (i think i am joking)later i realise i had embarssed him with my comment, i feel very regretful,i try to make it up by promising myself to do it again,my ego wont allow me to apologise,i realise that it is my body language expressing my anger
I remember an incident where I lost it with a young girl at a pharmacy where I was picking up a prescription. I was having a bad day and thi line there was interminable. When it came my turn things did not go smoothly and I began to rant at the poor girl. I looked her in her face ans saw an expression of hurt that stopped me in mid-sentence. I told her I was so sorry. That I was having a bad day and had no right to pass my misery on to the next person. She not only graciously accepted my apology but beamed the most beautiful smile at me. I always try to go back to this incident in my mind when I feel myself losing it.
Thank you so much for your comments regarding my article, Random Acts of Rudeness. There is so much sadness in our world today and within so many of our hearts. Remember, love goes so much further than hate.
in health and happiness!
All too often I look back and I am far kinder to a stranger than to my family and it saddens me. Bump into a stranger and receive an apology right away. Bump into your husband or child and “move” or “lookout” is more common. I think that we are all guilty of such crimes against humanity but if we focus on random acts of kindness I like to think it all weighs out in the end. Being aware is much better than not!